Friday, March 30, 2012

The Angry Globo-Gym-Crossfitter, Ep 1. The Hammer Curl Guy

Dear Hammer Curl Guy

Dear MR Hammer Curl.

I realize that getting " Swole " is your number one priority, but could I request just a few things each morning.

1-Please pick up your dammmm weights. Its hard enough to carve out space to practice double unders or god Forbid and actual Barbell movement that's functional, while trying not to trip over your weights and EZ Curl bar. I realize its important for you to stake your claim to 3 or 4 different Bicep curling stations so that you can start your Bicep-athon, but a little consideration would be appreciated.

2- Dear God stop making that face and that noise. I realize you have probably watched Pumping Iron 37 times and believe that you may actually have arms one day like Arnold, but i swear if you make that, (I just crapped my pants face, and scream like your giving birth), while throwing up a 45 lb dumbbell one more time.. "Ohh shit I may just loose it "

3- If I see you put your back into one more hammer curl, thrusting like its a 1970's disco, I may just have to slap you. If your going to do the movement for the love of God use proper form. I know, I know, Arnold used to use a bit of sway, But the Dude was Curling like 150 with each hand, he is allowed to, I mean he is the Terminator for Gods Sake.

Let me just make this clear, I am not some overzealous crossfitter, who thinks that everyone who doesn't crossfit is lame and beneath me. I just happen to believe that Functional, Body weight movements, Barbell Movements , and a shit ton of squatting will make you a fitter, stronger and generally more useful human.. " Ohh shit i do sound like a zealot ". I mean cmon, Ive been known to do a few reverse curls behind closed doors when noone is watching. Heck Ill even admit that Ive seen pumping iron enough times to make me question my Manliness. Its just that I care for you Hammer Curl Guy. I want you to be the best, strongest, and fittest hammer Curl guy you can be. Were still cool, just thought Id let you know how I feel.

Fist Bump.

Beast mode Out

Next Weeks Episode: Treadmill Lady


knipping said...

love it!

Crossfit Maineiac said...

thx Mr K :)

Post a Comment