Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Regional WOD BeastMode breakdown

BeastMode Regionals Breakdown

For Details on all the WODS please check out the Games site at

FIRST lemme just say MUCH respect to all of you who made it to the next level, you have my deepest respect and admiration. Shout out to my Boy Kyle Sikes northeast Beast, and Team Crossfit 321..gonna CRUSH it.

So without any further delay here it goes.

21-15-9 reps for time of:
Deadlift (225 / 155 lbs)
Handstand push-up

Nothing to crazy here, a nice couplet and a traditional Crossfit WOD.

Whats going to hurt: Look for sore shoulders and hammies, but honestly I don't think its going to affect people too much, UNLESS..
The Beast factor: On this WOD it comes down to the HSPU( handstand push ups ), you either have them or you don't, if you don't.. goodbye.. BUT the real Beast factor is Kipping vs Strict. The people who can bang out 21 strict are going to have a definitive advantage on this workout.
WHO'S Beastly: look for your smaller athletes to perform well on this, I expect Dan Bailey will be tops, as well as Rich Froning, but your larger athletes will not be able to go as fast on this wod due to HSPU. For the ladies side look for Camile Leblanc to shine early followed by the ever consistent Kristan Clever

For time:
Row 2,000 meters
50 One-legged squats, alternating
30 Hang cleans (225 / 135 lbs)
Time cap: 17 minutes

And then they go and pull this nastiness out of the depths of hell. I mean ouch.

Whats Going to Hurt: How about EVERYTHING. But seriously LEGS. Rowing a 2k for any amount of time is taxing, your quads, shoulders and lower back will be tender even before you get to the pistols. The 50 pistols are more of an irritating way to smoke your legs just a bit further. THEN holy moly 225 lb Hang cleans, are you joking? and 135 for the ladies. This is GOING to be brutal. I bet their will be Men and Women who will not make the time cap.
THE BEAST FACTOR: Two things in this workout will trip people up in my opinion. Speed on the 2k If someone comes out and tries for a 6:30 2k or faster.. BYE BYE.. legs will be Smoked. Pistols I don't think will be a huge factor. At this stage people will either have them, or not. The heavy clean is where the real separation will happen. The people who can string together triples and set of 5 will smoke the other competitors.
WHO'S BEASTLY: I think this favors your bigger guys and gals. Look for Rich Froning to make short work of the hang cleans, on the Women's side I give the edge to Annie T or Lindsey Valenzuela

Four rounds for time of:
10 One-arm dumbbell snatches (100 / 70 lbs)
10 min time cap

SEE picture above, that about sums up the fun of this workout
Whats Going To Hurt: If your shoulders weren't smoked yet, well my friend they will be.
The Beast Factor: The run is nothing on this WOD, its an annoyance, The real Beastliness is in the Snatches, I SAY... there will be many people who will not finish in the time cap.
Who's Beastly: Guys side I gotta go with Rob Orlando and Khalipa, Women's side Annie T, Katie Hogan

For time:
50 Back squats (135 / 95 lbs)
40 Pull-ups
30 Shoulder-to-overhead (135 / 95 lbs)
50 Front squats (85 / 65 lbs)
40 Pull-ups
30 Shoulder-to-overhead (85 / 65 lbs)
50 Overhead squats (65 / 45 lbs)
40 Pull-ups
30 Shoulder-to-overhead (65 / 45 lbs)
Time cap: 22 minutes

I literrally Vomited in my mouth, this is just plain BRUTAL

Whats Going to Hurt: EVERY MUSCLE in your body, seriously. I am guessing this will be the toughest WOD of the regionals, it looks easy, but after everything proceeding it I'm guessing its going to annihilate people.
The Beast Factor: I think its going to come down to pull ups, those peeps with butterfly will excel at this, but do not discount the sheer amount of shoulder to overhead in this workout.
Who's Beastly: Men's side of things, again I'm going with Dan Bailey to be tops on this one but do not underestimate big names like Froning and Khalipa. Women's side of things I think Clever will edge out Annie T, but overall Its going to be one of the stronger women who will do best.

Snatch Ladder with Double-unders
20 Double unders in between each snatch

Women's weights (pounds): 105, 115, 125, 130, 135, 140, 145, 150, 155, 160, 165, 170, 175, 180, 185.
Men's weights (pounds): 155, 165, 175, 185, 195, 205, 215, 225, 235, 245, 255, 265, 275, 285, 295.
WHATS with the Love of Snatches...Seriously there are other Olympic lifts...
Whats going to hurt: Again say Bye bye to shoulders, that is if you can still feel them after the other events.
The Beast factor: It all comes down to form, and hip flexibility, those athletes who have trained the snatch and can get under the bar quick, will do well, those who cannot, .....Good Luck
Whos Beastly: Mens Side AJA Barto and Rich Froning. Women's side Katie Hogan and Lindsey Valenzuela

For time:
Three rounds of:
7 Deadlifts (345 / 225 lbs)
7 Muscle-ups
Three rounds of:
21 Wall ball shots (20 / 14 lb ball to 10')
21 Toes-to-bar
100-foot Farmer carry (2 - 100 / 70 lb dumbbells)
28 Burpee box jumps (24" / 20" box)
100-foot Farmer carry (2 - 100 / 70 lb dumbbells)
3 Muscle-ups
Time cap: 17 minutes

At first glance this doesn't seem too bad, then you see the time cap and go huh, yeah this is going to suck
Whats going to Hurt: Back from the deadlift and shoulders from Muscle ups, then you move into wall balls and toe to bar. 21 toe to bar will be brutal especially after the long weekend so far, then.... ohh wait,, goodie, BURPEES and more muscle ups.
The beast factor: Muscle ups, and toe to bar. The athletes that have fine tuned the speed of the muscle up, and practiced efficient kip on the toe to bar, will do well on this one. ALSO, grip is a strong factor, the dead's will smoke your grip, so those athletes with a strong grip will not come off the rings, or bar, too early.
Who's beastly: I honestly do not know about this one. Ill Go with Consistency. Rich Froning men's, and Kristan Clever womens

I welcome your comments and gripes


Wednesday, April 18, 2012


Remember that scene in Rocky 4 when Stallone beats the Russian, and the whole crowd is going nuts , and admit it, you were too. I think that is what this match up would be like.

Lets meet the contenders:
In this Corner our heavyweight from the U.S. of A. Donny Shankle
Donny Shankle: Training out of California Strength.. Donny is a very un-assuming guy, he looks like a dude you would see at a nascar race, just chilling with a beer and listening to Skynard. ( Editors note: Donny please don't kill me, just kidding bro ). But that the coolest thing about him, he looks like an average dude, someone we could just chill with on the back deck and talk about life and stuff. But don't let the laid back demeanor fool you, this dude is a B.E.A.S.T. He exudes quiet confidence as he strides to the bar, and he is all business as he executes his lifts. See the two vids below.  For those of us who don't know Kilo's Ill do the math for you.  The Clean and Jerk=462 lbs or 210 Kilo, The Snatch=381 lbs or 173 kilo. RIDICULOUS...


Now Lets meet his Opponent: Dimitri Klokov a Russian Powerhouse, he was born and bred on Lifting big and heavy. His Dad was a heavyweight world champion as well, so Dude has the genetics to do this. Most of what I know about him I have gotten from YouTube videos . He is one MEAN looking dude, his face while snatching or cleaning is scary, im a full grown man and it frightens me. His lifts are even more impressive. 196kilo  snatch or 431 lbs, and 232 kilo clean and jerk or 510 lbs. Again these numbers are just unreal.  See the Vids below


So in the battle between these two BEAST's who would win? Well the numbers are on klokov's side, but I personally have to go with my homeboy Donny. You can hear the crowd now chanting as he steps up to defeat the Russian Juggernaut, " DONNY , DONNY, DONNY " . I for one would love to see this David Vs Goliath type match up, and hopefully at the 2012 Olympics we shall. 

Hope you all enjoyed a little change of pace please please check out both these tremendous lifters, learn from them, and grow strong. Practice your quiet confidence like Shankle, or your anger face like Klokov, either way have fun.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Angry Globo Gym Crossfitter ep 3. Creepy Shower Guy

Angry Globo-Gym Crossfitter Ep3 Creepy Shower Guy

This Post is dedicated to the Ladies:
But Seriously Ladies this is all true, I am not making this stuff up.

Dear Mr. Creepy Shower Guy.
I do not enjoy looking at your penis. Please put it away.

First let me set the stage for those of you who have never been inside a Globo-Gym Men's locker room. Its open, smelly, and the Showers have no stalls. For some reason whoever designs men's showers do not think we enjoy a little privacy. I'm talking Prison shower scene here. Six showers crammed into a tiny space, yes its that close, and uncomfortable, and awkward. ESPECIALLY with Creepy naked Shower guy creepin around

Who is this mysterious man. Well Let me tell you just a few of his wonderful charms.

  • Creepy naked Chats while showering his.. well.. you know.. ( I mean seriously, I do not want to talk about redsox, politics, math, or who got voted out on american idol, especially while you soap down your creepy man junk. Im here to shower and leave. )
  • Naked leisurely strolls through the locker room. ( Contrary to popular opinion this is not your own personal bathroom, their are other people here, and none of them want to see your johnson. PUT IT AWAY)
  • Shaving in front of the only sink, While .. you guessed it.. Naked . ( I just want to wash my hands, and yet again, i am forced to confront your weird wang. Dear GOD they make towels for a reason )
  • AND I SHIT you not. Lying on the benches, just chillin, NAKED.. ( Are you F*&*n kidding me dude, really )
The Locker room is not your personal stage for you to puppet your penis around for the world to see. We do not care. Do us all a favor Creepy Shower guy, and just put it away. Their is a time and a place for you to roam free, the locker room is not it. 
Sincerely, Everyone


Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Setting GOALS


We all know the importance of setting goals as an athlete, they help you to improve, they help you to grow, they help you to fight off boredom, and they make you more badass .
( like these two dudes above ).

What often gets overlooked is how to actually set a REASONABLE goal.  What do I mean by reasonable, and why do I love CAPS LOCK so much? A reasonable goal is something attainable, something to shoot for in the near future, something you can realistically look forward to, something that can be achieved in 3-6 months.
Example: If you currently have a 200lb deadlift. " I wanna deadlift 500 by the end of the year " is not a reasonable goal, ( Unless you plan on doing NOTHING but deadlift 5 days a week for a year )
A more reasonable goal is something like "In 3 months I want to deadlift 225 "
Because you get to taste success, and feel the sweet satisfaction of accomplishing a goal. And then you can set a new goal.

This is where allot of people go wrong. They set an unattainable goal, and when they dont reach it they feel discouraged, weak , inadequate, and less of a crossfit badass then they should. By dialing it back a bit you have a more workable approach, that will give you something to shoot for without crushing your soul when you cant accomplish your goal.

Some tips:

  • TALK TO YOUR COACH!!!!! yep caps lock again, because if your lucky enough to Crossfit at a decent box, and have a good coach, then ask them for advice first. They have seen you day in day out, they know what you are capable of, and will tell you if your being unrealistic.
  • Start small, take baby steps. think 3-6 months out and shoot for that.
  • DONT obsess about it. Crossfit is about GPP ( General Physical Preparedness ) so specializing in one thing will make you really good at one thing but the rest will suffer, so just Chill out
  • Make a game plan. Find a way to work on the lift or skill while still maintaining a normal WOD schedule
  • Be Cool with failure. Life is hard, sometimes you will not succeed, don't bitch about it , just adjust your goal and game plan, and attack it again. Sometimes you will just suck at something, that's life
  • LASTLY celebrate. When you hit that goal. Party your ass off, you worked hard, and you earned it. rip off your shirt, run around the gym, eat some bacon, do whatever you want, its your special day.
Please feel free to Comment , and share this post

Friday, April 6, 2012

The Angry Globo-Gym Crossfitter Ep.2


Warning Warning... If you are offended by extreme sarcasm and humor.. then tread no further..

Ok Ok first off, lemme set this straight. I am not hating on people who do not crossfit. We Cool....I'm just saying, I am a HUGE fan of functional movement, and it just happens that crossfit is the best program out there for functional fitness.. Ok got it.. Cool...

Monday morning 5:45am
I arrive at my Globo Nightmare and looky looky their she is, Starbucks 'mocha frappa Iced latte chino' in one hand , her copy of People in the other, she hops on her Elliptical and off she goes.

So I warm up stretch for a bit wait for my workout buddies to show up so we can do the WOD of the day and generally make noise for a good 30 minutes and tear this GLOBO gym a new one

6:15 am. I look over and holy mother of GOD she is still there, and I swear shes on a second cup of Starbucks 'Mint Mocha Cookie Double Jave expresso', I mean where did she even get that. If you have time to Chat ,watch news,  read, and drink a Coffee. YOU ARE NOT WORKING OUT HARD ENOUGH....

6:45 am  We are done our WOD, sweating, panting,  puking, hands hurt, head hurts, muscles ache.  "Yes Elliptical girl I know too you we look weird flopping on the ground and jumping and picking up the gross bar thing and lifting it over our heads" But you see we work more than 1 muscle at a time, Its an amazing concept . The mean guy in me wants to see her fall  off the Elliptical and watch as she tries to pick herself back up, like a helpless turtle, I know its wrong but hey were all thinking it.

SWEET LORD.. 1 pushup, can you please just do 1 pushup, 1 air squat even, I will pay you to literally do 1 air squat.
Annnnnd How the hell did you get a third 'Starbucks Double Chocolate Mint Iced Mocha Latte half Calf no whip'
7:00 am My heart leaps for joy, Elliptical girl is getting off the Elliptical, could this be the day, could this be the glorious day when she decides to actually work out 1 other muscle... wait for it wait for it... NOOOOOOOOOOO. shit, shes getting on the treadmill.

I Slump to the ground defeated......
News Flash ladies.. This Lady below.. is not even close to being good looking, shes scary, like a bikini clad skeleton from Zombie SuperModel Island. Its Ok to get stronger. AND no you wont get bulky or any of the other Cross Training myths.  This is just a helpfull public service announcement to all you Gals who think 3 hours of cardio a day makes you healthy. Try something Different and you will be sooooo glad you did.

12:30 am.. She is still on the dammm Elliptical....

I weep....


Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Weakness's and how to attack them

START Here first::: are you Donny Shankle, No.. Keep Reading. If you are, then, You sir Are Awesome.

Here we are once again , Coffee slowly dripping into our systems, recovering from the WOD or preparing for one. Contemplating that missed Lift, or that Technical skill that taunts you like a schoolyard bully. You cringe in fear, cross your fingers, say a prayer and hope it doesn't come up. I mean, who needs to do Hand stand pushups or muscle ups any way, really. So you go to your box and BAM, there it is on the whiteboard, your nemesis, your arch enemy, glaring at you, in dry erase marker big bold letters, and all you can read is, "I suck at this movement". So what do you do, what do you do.???

First off spongebob dont let the anxiety and fear take over. Were going to get through this. Now its time for a plan

Step1: Pick ONE thing, yep you heard me correctly, pick ONE thing. Too many people get caught up in trying to improve like 5 things all at once, this doesn't work in life, and it wont work in crossfit. So choose one skill, lift, technique, something you suck at, write it down, because its going to be your friend for the next 3 months.
Step 2: ASK for help. Yep, suck it up girlfriend, you need advice. So find a trainer, find a coach, find an old wizened wizard skilled in the art of Ninjitsu. You get the idea. A coach, or trainer, or BFF can help you break down the movement, and give you advice to help improve your form, and go over assistive exercises to help you conquer this sucka.
Step3: Practice . I like to throw it into my warmup if possible. For example. Last year I sucked at Double Unders, It was pathetic. So I put them into my warmup before a wod, 4 rounds of 10 Du's, 5 pushups, 10 squats, 10 situps. Keeping the rep scheme simple helped me to work on technique and speed, and I was practicing them alot because they were a warmup. Slowly I got good at them and now I do not fear them.
Step 4: Assistive exercises. Whatever your weakness is, there are exercises, or lifts, or techniques, called assistive exercises, these will help you build the necessary strength and technique to perform the movement correctly and efficiently.
STEP5: GO SLOW, that right slow yourself down a bit, or else Chuck Norris here will find you and YOU DONT WANT that. Srsly, its going to be a slow process so take your time, no one should expect to be stringing 30 muscle ups together after 2 short weeks. So don't get frustrated if it seems like its taking forever. Just Chill K

So to Sum it up
Identify---Seek Help---Make a Plan---Practice---Be Patient


Sunday, April 1, 2012

Paleo Slackers, easy recipe's

Paleo Slackers.. Easy Steak Lunch Wraps

Difficulty rating 2-- Meaning, if you have difficulty pouring milk on cereal, do not attempt.
tastiness rating- 8.5.. I would give it a ten but I didn't use bacon.
Time- 5-10 minutes.. Depending on how fancy you wanna get.

Ok this is a Quick and easy paleo snack, you can use it for lunch, dinner or whenever. I'm not going to over complicate this recipe, or yell at you like Gordon Ramsey, in fact its pretty damm hard to screw it up. so hang in there we will get through this.

Ingredients Needed:
1 tsp olive oil- optional
Lemon juice and Lime Juice
salt and pepper. I prefer sea salt, cause it tastes good .
Romaine Lettuce
Sandwich steak, thinly sliced, or shaved steak. I prefer shaved steak as it rolls up easier.
Veggies of Choice. I used a red pepper, and a carrot

  1. In pan put olive oil, lemon juice, and lime juice, and sea salt, and pepper. Turn heat to like 6 or 7. Put in as much lemon and lime as you want, I like mine zesty so I put allot
  2. Once Everything heats up, add in your steak and let cook while we prepare the rest
  3. Arrange Romaine on the Plate as follows

      4. Reminder: Check the meat so it doesn't burn, flip it ..do it, flip it now.. Ok, Good, move on.
      5. Cut whatever veggie you are going to use as filler. I sliced red peppers real thin, and used a carrot    peeler to obtain some carrot slices. Because I'm  like a veggie cuttin Ninja. see pic below..

       6. Arrange the veggies toward the top for rolling purposes, it'll make sense in a bit... Oh shit.. check yo steak...
      7. Your steak should be close now, you want it sort of well done, but not dry as a bone.If its too goopy it'll get messy, unless you like that, then have at it.

     8. Ok now time to arrange the steak on the Romaine, place near top again. See the pic.. look at it.. do it ...now..

   9.Roll them baby's up, start from the top and roll em down. Make sure you really crack the spine of the romaine as you roll em, it helps them to stay rolled. You can use a toothpick to hold em together if you want, just don't forget its their while you eat it, cause that's just plain funny
  10. Take a step back, Give yourself a high five, and a fist bump, and prepare for a taste journey, cause you my friend are awesome. Enjoy this with some hot sauce, or a paleo friendly condiment of your choice. Look at that I told you this stuff was easy.